Ambrosia Creative

I think I hit rock-bottom with my diet the evening I sat in my parked car, quietly gnoshing on a KFC meal so as to not wake up my sleeping baby in the backseat. At the beginning of this pregnancy, I made a pact with myself to NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT WEIGHT GAIN. After all, I was so “cute” and “small” when I was pregnant with Kai. And DUH, pregnancy is supposed to 0.1% beautiful and 99.9% crappiness and weight gain.

Buuuuut, it’s happening a lot faster this time around. And I look four months pregnant despite being only nine weeks.

“Wow, the pregnancy weight is coming on!” Ryan exclaimed one evening as he was giving me a massage. “I can tell by your arms!”

Hmmmm. I’m certainly not doing myself any favors by indulging in all my cravings. Chicken pot pies, salisbury steak and mashed potato TV dinners, white bread… My latest obsession are Wendy’s baked potatoes. Sounds healthy enough, except I get two. And I add lots of butter and sour cream. Times two. And dump their chili on top. Before you get started on telling me how old the meat is they use, just stop. Let me enjoy my mushy mess of a meal in ignorant bliss.

Looking at my diet, you would’ve never guessed that I once subscribed to Self Magazine and Cooking Light. That I was ANTI prepared food. Except for Trader Joe’s, but that doesn’t count.

Perhaps my artery-busting eating style is merely psychological. See, my midwife advised me to cut back on carbs and sugar around the 20th week of pregnancy. “We don’t want you having baby in the 10 pound range,” she said. “Or else we’d run into trouble.” Trouble, like…a C-section? So, if I keep eating the way I do, and have another ridiculously large child, I will have to get a C-section? Sounds good. Actually, it sounds wonderful. Not wanting to redo the traumatizing ordeal called vaginal childbirth, perhaps I’m just simply eating my way to a C-section.

So that’s my epiphany. Next time I sit down with a bowl of rocky road, I’ll just tell myself that it’s okay! No guilt, because it’s my body’s natural instinct for self-preservation.

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