First day of the cleanse + a happy ending

January 5, 2009

Wow, thank you all for your support! It’s all very kind. And…embarrassing (you’ll see why at the end). But day 1 went like this:

6:30 am – Saltwater flush. We’re supposed to down nearly 1 liter of a water and sea salt solution. I could only manage one glassful. Gagging and dry heaves ensue shortly after. Ryan chugged his down like a champ. No complaints from him.

7:30 am – First helping of the lemon and maple syrup mixture. I was still feeling sick from the saltwater flush. A brisk morning walk/lame jog didn’t make me feel much better. But after drinking 8oz of the “lemonade” I started to feel a little normal again. And the mixture actually tastes good.

9:00 am – Had another glass of lemonade. Feeling alright and just happy that my hunger was in check.

11:30 am – Got back from the park with the boys. Feeling sluggish, weak, and a little woozy by now. I’ve read this means my body is shifting its energy to “healing” my insides. Liars. But I managed to prepare lunch for the boys without going insane. Starting to want real food, but my hunger isn’t as intense as on a Fast Sunday.

4:00 pm – By this time, I had three more glasses of the lemonade mixture. All afternoon, I felt like a useless sloth. I didn’t have the energy to do any chores and just wanted to watch Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson interviews all afternoon (can you say Twihard?). Good thing I had some design work to keep me busy. In a very indolent way.

5:00 pm – Real, tangible hunger has finally set in. Like my stomach was trying to eat itself. My head is starting to hurt, and my 6th glass of lemonade did no good to take the edge off. I know I’m starting to go crazy when I get excited by lemon pulp in my drink (“Solids…ohhh, YAY!!”). But no distraction can completely take my mind off of food. Food! I was obsessed with it. And very grumpy at my children.

5:30 pm – I realize I don’t have enough reserves to get through that tough 5-6pm hour with the kids. I’m mad at the stupid lemonade diet. I’m mad at how unsatisfied I feel. But amused that I lost two pounds (water weight, yes) in less than 24 hours. I call up Ryan, telling him that I’m going to quit (and expecting him to talk me out of it — which he doesn’t) and I’m shoving a bowlful of Cheerios down my throat before I’m even off the phone with him.

6:30 pm – On top of the Cheerios, I ate four mini bagels with cream cheese, a hard-boiled egg, a sliver of cheddar cheese, and an un-ladylike serving of chicken and broccoli curry (I’ve been craving carbs, but mostly protein all day). My mind is sharp again. I feel strong and capable. And happy to have a comfortably full stomach.

There it is; my short-lived experience with the Master Cleanse. I didn’t think I’d wuss out so quickly. But I just don’t think it’s feasible for a busy mother with young children. I don’t know…someone out there prove me wrong. Ryan is still bent on finishing the entire cleanse. So, good luck, my dear husband! I will consider this the male equivalent of natural childbirth.

I am scared.

January 3, 2009

Behold.

In my arms I present to you. The ingredients for our only sustenance the next 10 days:


The Master Cleanse.

Miss Maureen said she’d rather gnaw her arm off. A dubious Amy from Tehachi-where? questioned our sanity today (“Are you duuummb?! Are you crazy?!!”). Ryan is committed to doing the cleanse for two full weeks. And I’m currently thinking of ways to cheat.

We start Monday. I’m sure this will be terribly boring, but feel free to check in to witness our misery progress over the next week or so.

The Postmarks

January 2, 2009

I love this band. More music at their MySpace site.

Another installment of ‘I love this town’

December 30, 2008

Ryan and I finally got around to watching Little Miss Sunshine last night. Seeing all the scenes where they’re in ‘Redondo beach’ (actually filmed here in Ventura) made me realize we don’t get down there as much as we should. So, to the Promenade the boys and I went.

And yes, I felt like a nerdy tourist snapping shots with my camera. But the weather and lighting was too gorgeous to resist.

Our Last Travel of the Year

December 30, 2008

Destination: Mesa, AZ
For: Todd and Kristy’s wedding
Total hours logged on the road: 16!